How to Show Up Online: 5 Ways to Build Confidence (Even If You Feel Awkward)

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I’m writing this one because, honestly, I need the pep talk just as much as anyone else when it comes to how to show up online confidently.

I didn’t always know how to show up online confidently…far from it.

Three years ago, when I went through my divorce, I completely disappeared from social media and at the time, it was exactly what I needed. I had a business back then, and the constant pressure to post, engage, and keep up was exhausting. Add in obsessing over likes, shares, and engagement, and it all started to feel…heavy.

Everyone had an opinion on where I should show up and how I should show up, and it quickly became overwhelming. On top of that, I felt this unspoken pressure to share more of my personal life than I was comfortable with. My child, my day-to-day, my “behind the scenes”. All of it. I kept hearing, “That’s what people connect with.” But at the end of the day, some things just felt too personal to put online.

So when I started this business, a big part of “doing things my way” meant doing social media my way too. Translation: being very intentional about what I share and what I don’t.

One of the hardest parts for me in my previous business was showing up on video. Back then, Instagram lives were everything, stories were all about talking to the camera, and reels were just starting to take off. People wanted to see you, hear you, and connect with you in real time.

Who actually wants to watch me ramble? 😅

Clubhouse was a thing back then too, and honestly, it was kind of my happy place. It was live, but all audio which made it feel so much easier. I could curl up on my couch in sweats, maybe with a glass of wine, and just chit chat. No camera, no pressure, just conversation. That felt comfortable for me.

I also pushed myself in other ways, like sharing behind-the-scenes moments on Instagram stories. Things like vendor meetings, site visits, client walkthroughs, all of it. And to be fair, as I did it more, it started to feel a little more “normal” and a little less icky.

But even then, I still overanalyzed everything. I’d sit there wondering if I should even hit “share,” replaying it in my head, second-guessing myself constantly. Talk about anxiety inducing.

Fast forward to this season of life, and I’ve made peace with the fact that some of those things just aren’t for me, even if people say they “should” be.

I believe there is more than one way to show up online.

Just because something works for someone else (or everyone else) doesn’t mean it’s the right way for you, and that’s okay.

It took me a full year to hop on Instagram bandwagon for Boss Mama CEO. I was very set on not using social media at all. And honestly, at the beginning, I didn’t need it. It was just a blog.

But then it started growing into something more:

Coaching
A movement
Apparel
Resources
…and so much more to come

That’s when I realized I needed another way to drive traffic and reach more people. I was already using Pinterest consistently when pushing blog posts, but I needed another touchpoint.

I also knew a few things very clearly:

• I didn’t want to put my face everywhere
• I didn’t want to share my daughter online
• I didn’t want to feel that same old pressure creeping back in

So I made a decision to create an Instagram page focused purely on motivation. The exact reason I scroll on social media today.

Because I’ve been so intentional about what I share, I have way more clarity, way less pressure, and a whole lot less of that “icky” feeling when I show up.

So if you’ve been feeling the same way, this is your reminder: you get to do this your way.

Here’s my advice on how to show up online confidently with less anxiety, more confidence, and zero ick.

1. Pick your “comfort lane” first, not your “should lane”

This is going to contradict pretty much everything I usually say…

I’m all about getting outside your comfort zone because that’s where growth happens. BUT—social media is a different beast entirely.

And when it comes to your emotional and mental health, you have to set boundaries. Not as a “nice to have,” but as a non-negotiable.

For me, video felt like a hard no for a long time. But audio was my entry point.

Clubhouse was where I felt like myself. No camera, just conversation and that mattered.

It reminded me that you don’t have to start where everyone else is. You just have to start where you don’t immediately want to run away.

Try this: Pick one platform you’re comfortable with, and go for it.

If video feels like too much, don’t force it. Start with captions, photos, audio, or even curated content. Your comfort zone isn’t a limitation. It’s your starting strategy.

2. Normalize awkward until you learn how to show up online confidently

I wish I could say I just woke up one day and felt confident showing up online… but no. And honestly, I still don’t.

I went from overthinking Clubhouse chats on my couch in sweats, to second-guessing Instagram stories about vendor meetings, to hovering over the “share” button like it was going to explode.

The mindset shift didn’t come from perfection. It came from repetition.

It got less “icky” the more I did it. Not because it got perfect but because I got used to myself showing up.

I’m kind of back in that phase again. I’ve been off social media for so long that this still feels a little new-ish to me. So right now, it’s all about normalizing it. Just showing up enough that it starts to feel natural again.

3. Stop performing, start sharing one real thing

One of the biggest anxiety reducers for me was dropping the idea that I had to “show up as a brand” all the time.

Instead, I started asking:
“What’s one real moment I can share without overthinking it?”

Not a perfect story or a curated performance. Just a real moment.

That’s what actually connects with people anyway. Not the polished version, but the human one.

When I was showing up on social media in my last business, someone told me, “People are booking services to work with YOU, not anyone else. So let them see who you are.”

And that stuck with me. Because at the end of the day, that’s what people actually connect with. Not perfection or a perfectly curated feed. Just you showing up as yourself.

Authenticity always wins.

Recently, this looked like me sharing a behind-the-scenes of my apparel launch. My samples came in, and I snapped a photo to send to my email community.

Side note: if you want in on this exclusive community, behind-the-scenes, and special discounts, sign up here!

The lighting wasn’t perfect and it wasn’t styled in some dreamy, aesthetic office.

It was on my basement floor (aka my “office”) surrounded by my daughter’s toys.

That’s my real life.

No staging, no perfection… just a mom, a business, and a floor full of toys. And somehow, that makes it even better.

4. Decide what is and isn’t up for grabs (and stick to it)

This one changed everything for me.

I got really intentional about what I share and what I don’t.

I didn’t want to show my daughter’s face or share deeply personal details. I’m thoughtful and selective about what parts of my life make it online.

What I do share > My business, and the ways my mom life connects to it. That’s it.

Those are boundaries I set for myself and I’m sticking to them, no matter what anyone else thinks. And let me tell you, having boundaries online doesn’t limit your growth. It actually gives you peace.

Because you’re no longer negotiating with yourself every time you post.

For me, setting boundaries was a huge part of how I learned how to show up online confidently without feeling overwhelmed.

5. Remember: you’re not late, you’re just not performing on demand

There were (and still are) seasons where I felt like I was “behind” because I wasn’t showing up in videos online or hopping on every trend.

But I was (and still am) building in a way that didn’t drain me.

And that matters more than speed.

Because consistency that respects your nervous system will always outlast consistency built on pressure.

And if you’re sitting there thinking, “Okay cool… but I still feel awkward,”…same. Honestly.

But maybe the goal isn’t to feel fearless. Maybe it’s just to feel a little more like yourself every time you show up.

If you’re still figuring out how to show up online confidently, you’re not alone and you’re definitely not behind.

And that’s enough to start.

Here’s to all the incredible Moms juggling a million things—keep shining bright, cheering each other on, and building the life you love!

Xoxo,
Ashley

Friendly Note: I’m simply sharing my journey, experiences, and lessons learned as a Mom in business. This isn’t legal, financial, or professional advice. Always check with a qualified pro for guidance tailored to you.