How Motherhood Changes Your Identity and Finding Yourself Again

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This one’s a bit of a long ride, mama—so grab your favorite drink, cozy up in your comfiest chair, and come along for this peek into my journey of navigating how motherhood changes your identity and what it really feels like to find yourself again.

Where Are My Mamas At?! Setting an Example for Your Children

Let’s just get this out of the way first: motherhood is the most beautiful, messy, chaotic, love-filled rollercoaster you’ll ever ride. And if you’re anything like me, you probably jumped on the train thinking you had it all figured out—diaper bag packed, Pinterest-perfect nursery, a vague plan for how you’d “do it all.”

And then real life hit.

Because here’s the truth: the second that little bundle of joy was placed in your arms, your world flipped upside down. Your sleep schedule? Non-existent. Your patience? Tested hourly. Your identity? Suddenly not so crystal clear anymore.

But here’s the thing, Mama: we’re not just raising kids. We’re raising future leaders, dreamers, movers, and shakers. And yes—especially for our daughters—we are showing them in real time what it looks like to juggle, stumble, pick ourselves back up, and still pursue our dreams.

Our kids are watching us. They see how we handle stress, how we chase (or hide from) opportunities, and how we care for ourselves. When you build your business, when you show up for work with integrity, when you dare to try something new—even while packing lunches and helping with homework—you’re planting seeds in your children that scream: Women can do it all. Women can dream. Women can lead.

✨ Personal Story:

Since the day my daughter was born, she’s seen me in hustle mode. I was juggling a full-time job and running my event planning business, so “time off” wasn’t really a thing. With no paid maternity leave, I went back to my 9–5 just 4 weeks postpartum—part-time for about 8 weeks, then full-time again—all while still building my business on the side.

During that same season, I rebranded my business and launched a whole new look that I was SO proud of. My tiny sidekick was there for it all—curled up in the carrier during meetings, nursing while I wrapped up calls (because babies don’t wait for email replies), and tagging along to events.

As she grew, I watched her little personality mirror mine. She’s now this outgoing, confident girl who can make friends anywhere. She even pulls out her toy laptop to “work like Mommy”—because in her eyes, that’s the coolest.

Then one random day, she walked right up to me, looked me straight in the eyes, and said: “I’m so proud of you, Mommy.” In that moment, every late night, early morning, and all the hard work I’ve poured into chasing my dreams felt 100% worth it.

Feeling Lost: How Motherhood Changes Your Identity

Nobody warns you about the identity crisis that comes with motherhood. The truth is, how motherhood changes your identity isn’t talked about enough. Sure, people mention sleepless nights, postpartum hormones, and the fact that you’ll never drink your coffee hot again—but rarely does anyone prepare you for the who am I now? spiral.

Before kids, you had a rhythm. Maybe you were career-driven, maybe you thrived in social circles, maybe you loved traveling, painting, or just enjoying an uninterrupted shower (bless those days). But once kids enter the picture? Suddenly, your identity shifts into caregiver, chauffeur, chef, nurse, referee, therapist, and snack dispenser—all rolled into one.

And somewhere in there, the woman you used to be feels like she’s gone missing.

Here’s what I’ve learned: that lost feeling doesn’t mean you’ve disappeared. It means you’ve evolved. You’ve grown into a new version of yourself. The key is learning how to integrate the old you with the new you so that you don’t feel like you’ve sacrificed your identity on the altar of motherhood.

✨ Personal Story:

Motherhood looks different for all of us—we each have our own story. For me, stepping into it meant my entire world suddenly revolved around nurturing and protecting this tiny, beautiful girl. She became the very center of my universe.

When I started easing back into work events, I dreaded every second. All I wanted was to be home with my little angel. And because I was still nursing, every outing meant hauling the pump bag along, sneaking away mid-event to pump, and doing whatever it took to make sure I could care for her when I got back home. It was exhausting… but also rewarding in its own way.

After a year and a half of that nonstop juggle—working full-time for another firm, running my event business, nursing, and being full-time mama (because let’s be real, childcare is $$$)—I hit a wall. I cherished my time with her so much more than I did working late nights and long weekends on client events. So, I made the hard but necessary decision to close my business. And honestly? It was a relief. I could finally give more of myself to my daughter during such a big developmental stage.

But along with that relief came something else: the struggle of finding me again. I went from meeting up with my industry gals at networking events, chatting with clients regularly, and collaborating with amazing creatives to design one-of-a-kind events. I was in my zone, thriving. And then, when I closed my business, all of it disappeared.

It took three years, but little by little I started carving out space for myself again. Yoga. Coffee dates with friends. Morning walks. The simple things that filled me up. And slowly, I found my way back.

This blog has been a huge part of that journey—my place to journal, reflect, and embrace the twists and turns of my story. Writing here has been unexpectedly cathartic, and it lights me up with excitement for what’s still to come.

The Single Mom Juggle: 9-5 + Business + Kids

Now let’s talk about the mamas out here doing it all solo. Because whew—if that’s you, I need you to pause, take a deep breath, and give yourself a slow clap right now and know that you are not alone.

Being a single Mom working a 9-5 while starting a business shows firsthand how motherhood changes your identity—and how you can still pursue your dreams. That’s next-level superhero status.

It’s waking up early to pack lunches and send emails before the kids stir. Clocking out of your day job only to clock into your passion project. It’s managing homework meltdowns while scheduling client calls and somehow squeezing in a moment to breathe. It’s about finding the right balance—growing your side hustle while still giving your kiddos the time and energy they deserve.

And yes, it’s exhausting. But here’s what I want you to hear: your kids are watching. They’re seeing you hustle. They’re seeing you commit to your dreams even when life doesn’t make it easy. This isn’t just a reminder for you, it’s a reminder for me too because nobody’s perfect—I certainly am not—and know that I too need this beautiful little reminder sometimes too.

When you show them what resilience looks like—when you prove that even as a single Mom you are worthy of building something for yourself—you give them permission to dream bigger too.

✨ Personal Story:

When I decided to jump into a new creative adventure, I made myself one non-negotiable: it couldn’t take time away from my daughter. Whatever I started had to fit into our routine, because this time, I was doing things on my terms. That’s why this blog felt like the perfect way to dip my toes back into a creative space.

Everything I do for this blog happens when she’s at school or fast asleep. When she’s with me, my mission is to give her my full attention—because let’s be honest, mama, these years fly by faster than we can blink. I don’t want to miss out on the little moments that turn into big memories.

Of course, working in the cracks of the day means my schedule looks a little wild—I’m typing away before she wakes up and again long after bedtime. Back when she was home with me during my 9–5, she’d occasionally make surprise cameos on video calls (sometimes on purpose, sometimes not). In the moment, it felt chaotic, but honestly, those interruptions became little reminders that we’re human first, professionals second.

As Moms, we’re usually the default caregivers no matter what our work situation looks like. We’re expected to just “figure it out.” So, when the little ones sneak into a meeting or wave at your boss through the screen, you roll with it, laugh through it, and soak in the sweetness of this season. Because mama, it won’t last forever—and one day you’ll look back and smile at how beautifully messy it all was.

Rebranding My Business During Maternity Leave

This one’s for my fellow entrepreneur mamas who thought maternity leave would just be late-night feedings and Netflix binges. Ha! Joke’s on us.

Because if you’re anything like me, maternity leave turned into idea central. It was a time to reflect on how motherhood changes your identity—and how that shapes your business and priorities.

Something about holding a newborn makes you rethink everything. Suddenly, the business you built pre-baby feels outdated. The brand voice you once loved feels stiff. And the goals you set don’t quite match the new version of you—the Boss Mama CEO who knows her time is precious and her energy is gold.

So, I rebranded during maternity leave. While rocking a baby in one arm and sipping cold coffee with the other, I reimagined my business.

And honestly, it was the best thing I could have done. Because becoming a Mom gave me clarity. It forced me to filter out the fluff and focus on what really mattered—to me and to my clients.

Rebranding wasn’t about abandoning who I was before kids. It was about stepping into the stronger, more focused, more intentional version of me. I had a fresh perspective and new outlook on the direction I wanted my business to go in and I believed whole heartedly in the vision so I went for it.

✨ Personal Story:

Long before maternity leave even started, I knew one thing: I was going to use that time to rebrand my business. I had just four short weeks before heading back to my 9–5, so there was no time to waste. As soon as we settled in at home, I hit the gas pedal—and didn’t let up. It was way overdue. My business needed a makeover. The old branding wasn’t serving me, it didn’t reflect my vision, and honestly, my personality was nowhere to be seen.

Walks outside have always been my little slice of therapy—a time to think, reflect, and dream. During countless strolls with baby in the stroller and dog in tow, I mapped out exactly how I wanted to breathe new life into my company.

In those four whirlwind weeks, I applied for a new LLC to change my business name, worked with designers to create a fresh logo, business cards, and other marketing materials, switched website platforms, completely revamped the design, and updated all my social platforms to announce the big change. It was hectic—but oh, so worth it. For the first time, my business finally felt right.

Here’s a little peek at the logo change alone—you can see the transformation just in the design itself.

Mama, You Haven’t Lost Yourself—You’ve Leveled Up

Motherhood doesn’t erase you. It expands you.

It’s easy to feel like you’ve lost yourself, but really, this is just proof of how motherhood changes your identity in powerful ways. You’ll have moments when you wonder where your old self went. But she’s not gone. She’s still there, waiting for you to invite her back into the fold—this time stronger, wiser, and with a whole new sense of purpose.

So, whether you’re:
✨ Rocking the 9-5 while building a side hustle
✨ Navigating life as a single mama powerhouse
✨ Rebranding your business during naptime
✨ Or simply trying to feel like you again…

Remember this: you are still you. Just with a new title: Mama. And that version of you? She’s unstoppable.

Practical Ways to Find Yourself Again

Motivation is great, but sometimes we need actual steps, not just pep talks. So here are a few Boss Mama CEO-approved ways to start reclaiming your identity today:

1. Schedule non-negotiable me-time. Even if it’s 15 minutes. Protect it like you protect your child’s bedtime routine.
2. Reconnect with old passions. What did you love before kids? Reading, dancing, baking, painting? Start small, but start.
3. Set new goals (just for you). Beyond the laundry and carpool, what do you want? Write it down.
4. Build a support squad. Surround yourself with other ambitious mamas who get it.
5. Celebrate every win. Did you shower today? Win. Did you post that reel? Double win. Momentum builds with celebration.

Here are a few of my favorite podcasts that continue to inspire me. I hope they do the same for you!

• The Mel Robbins Podcast
• BOSSY
• The Tony Robbins Podcast
• The Ed Mylett Show
• Career Contessa
• The Jasmine Star Show
• The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Show

Final Word, Mama

This is how motherhood changes your identity—not by erasing you, but by expanding you into something even stronger. You’re not lost—you’re evolving. You are raising kids and raising yourself at the same time. And that’s powerful.

So next time you feel like you don’t recognize the woman in the mirror, remind yourself: she’s still there. She’s just got a new mission, fiercer determination, and maybe a little spit-up on her shirt.

But trust me—she’s never been more unstoppable.

Here’s to all the incredible Moms juggling a million things—keep shining bright, cheering each other on, and building the life you love!

Ashley

Friendly Note: I’m simply sharing my journey, experiences, and lessons learned as a Mom in business. This isn’t legal, financial, or professional advice. Always check with a qualified pro for guidance tailored to you.